The best in me.

There are few people in this world that manage to bring out the best in me, and all of them are far away now.

I stumble along the road leaning to the walls on a constant basis, like a drunk inebriated by the alcohol in it's blood. I go from nice guy to ass-hole in seconds, I waver in the presence of society and push my feelings aside to brush it off again.

Those people, the ones that make me whole, they're not easy to find. Be it lovers friends or something else they are rare.

I have been blessed and cursed in a few occasions, savouring the bliss of their presence already knowing I was going to lose them in the end. I realize this now but I can't tell what it is, it simply is. Like an invisible connection shared among 2 random people.

I met wonderful people throughout the years, but most of the ones who got close, got close enough to turn me into a monster, a beast with a famine big enough to devour the world.

But then there are those, who rip me away from the line, warm up my heart and make me smile like if nothing else in the world mattered.

When I'm near them I feel at peace, complete, I'm happy.

Just sharing a moment, even a digital one makes my brain fire, makes my aching heart heal. They turn me into the best version of myself, and even though I keep trying on my own i never seem to be able to reach the same state without them.

My brothers in arms, my borrowed sister, my foreign family, my one true blood and my eternal friend. They all bring me together, and I would tear this world apart to keep them safe.

Because deep inside I know the animal I am, the misunderstood beast that keeps raging and will stop at nothing.

But like a lost animal I keep searching for that one final connection, for that warm smile in a sunny Sunday morning. I'm searching for the final piece, the final cog.

I am the sword, but my Saya is still nowhere to be found.