In the back
of my mind something said, write, open up that program and rape the keyboard
with the thoughts that invade your mind.
Ok, let’s turn the music on and start.
It’s been three weeks since I got here, back home, back to those familiar places, fighting so hard to not drown in old habits.
Every time I walk a street or go for a car ride I see ghosts of a life that is no longer mine. Nostalgia invades me, sinks in and leaves me feeling depressed and down, but I have to stay positive, keep telling myself that it’s just a temporary thing.
To be honest I miss the excitement of living in a different place, some place where I don’t belong, I’m just visiting.
I ask myself if this feeling of satisfaction for being in a different place will ever end, if I will reach a point when I will feel the need to settle down, to find a new place to call home, or if I am condemn to end up in the place that I want so bad to leave.
Since I got here, thoughts of a past life come rushing forward every day, the what ifs and the scenarios that I missed when I left. Daydreaming of decisions that I made that if different would lead me to a different life.
I find myself flowing into a spiral of nostalgic poison.
It’s funny how we work, when we don’t have the time we have the ideas, when we do have the time the ideas are nowhere to be found. There was always so much that I wanted to do but always felt like I didn’t had enough time to do it all, and now here I stand, with all the time that I need and I can’t seem to find the motivation to do what I always wanted to do.
One thing is for sure, this is a lesson, a life lesson that I hope to learn correctly.
In my mind now, thoughts of a place a called home for a short time, the good and the bad and in a little corner of my mind dreams of the one that follows.
Ok, let’s turn the music on and start.
It’s been three weeks since I got here, back home, back to those familiar places, fighting so hard to not drown in old habits.
Every time I walk a street or go for a car ride I see ghosts of a life that is no longer mine. Nostalgia invades me, sinks in and leaves me feeling depressed and down, but I have to stay positive, keep telling myself that it’s just a temporary thing.
To be honest I miss the excitement of living in a different place, some place where I don’t belong, I’m just visiting.
I ask myself if this feeling of satisfaction for being in a different place will ever end, if I will reach a point when I will feel the need to settle down, to find a new place to call home, or if I am condemn to end up in the place that I want so bad to leave.
Since I got here, thoughts of a past life come rushing forward every day, the what ifs and the scenarios that I missed when I left. Daydreaming of decisions that I made that if different would lead me to a different life.
I find myself flowing into a spiral of nostalgic poison.
It’s funny how we work, when we don’t have the time we have the ideas, when we do have the time the ideas are nowhere to be found. There was always so much that I wanted to do but always felt like I didn’t had enough time to do it all, and now here I stand, with all the time that I need and I can’t seem to find the motivation to do what I always wanted to do.
One thing is for sure, this is a lesson, a life lesson that I hope to learn correctly.
In my mind now, thoughts of a place a called home for a short time, the good and the bad and in a little corner of my mind dreams of the one that follows.
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